Posted with permission from a member's blog.
Terror at 3 feet & rising: Pick up the Phone: First off: sorry for the delay in updating.  Between recovering from my surgery ("I got better!"), hunting for a new place to live (#$&^@% bad housing market and overpriced rentals!), trying to be the Promotions Manager for my local mommies group (I feel like an overworked Stage Manager who was just told they're also the Producer but have no money), and taking care of house and family I'm swamped!

But I wanted to tell everyone about a really important event coming up.  Pick Up the Phone is an awareness event by the 1-800-Suicide/Hope Line organization.  It works to raise awareness about Postpartum Depression, Bi-Polar Disorder and Depression.  These issues are very near and dear to me.  I struggled with both BPD and depression for many years.  I also have had bouts of PPD.  My mom also had issues with depression and BPD.  I will not deny that at many times I felt at that edge of suicide.  Thankfully I had people I could turn to or ways to keep going. But many people do not.  People still see these as things to be ashamed of, to not talk about.  Honestly- that is why suicide keeps happening.  If people were able to TALK about what was going on.  If they felt they could turn to people close to them and get the support they need then the rate of suicide would drop.  I wish there wasn't a need for hotlines to help people come down from that ledge.  But there is, because people don't always feel they can turn to their families, their friends.

So, this Friday, February 25th Pick Up the Phone 2011 tour kicks off in DC.  I will be there to speak for 5 minutes before the show about The Mommies Network, a national organization with local chapters that helps and supports all moms through all aspects of life.  Each chapter has their own PPD forums where women can talk about and get support with their PPD, depression, etc.  If you want to find a chapter near you please check here.  I'm sure I'll even talk about my own struggles.

For more information about the tour please check here.

And remember- depression, bi-polar, any thoughts of suicide are not things to be ashamed of.  If you, or someone you know is struggling, please get help.  Give a caring ear or even just be present for them.

We all get advice.  Some of it is good, some of it not so much.  We sometimes want to scream at the person giving it "what the hell are you thinking?".  Other times we want to hug them crying tears of joy and begging them to tell us all the wisdom they have.  Occasionally we go hunting for advice, like after a 4th night of complete sleeplessness trying to get a teething baby comfortable enough to sleep while the preschooler discovers that you can be afraid of the dark.

What's some of the best and the craziest advice you have ever gotten?

It's an interesting situation: a woman gives birth; at home, hospital, side of the road, it doesn't matter where and she is then surrounded by people who wish her well.  They want to know details the new mom never thought anyone would care about.  When did her water break?  How long was labor?  How many pushes did it take? What pain medication (if any) was used?  About a week later those well wishers are now AWOL.  The woman is now thrust into this new persona of Mom.  Late night feedings leave her sleep deprived, a cry that is designed to be as annoying to her as possible leaves her craving silence, diapers leave her wondering what on earth could create such a smell.  The list goes on.  Sometimes after only a few weeks she has to return to work.  Sometimes her partner returns to work. 

So now what?  Here is this small entity that she now must nurture, feed and do everything for.  Once going to the bathroom was a simple necessity, it is now a luxury. Oh the baby is asleep for 5 minutes she can go pee!!  Only to get in there, start her business and WAAAHHH!!!!!!  Eating?  Oh, you mean the bite that she gets to take between cleaning up the spit-up of curdled milk or formula and changing the diaper?  And don't get me started on trying to figure out just what to do with a child all day.  I mean come on, how long can you dangle a toy just out of reach of them?  Or make the same nonsensical sounds over and over and over again? Before she added the royal title of Mom to her resume she could look forward to stimulating adult conversation when and where she wanted.  It didn't take her an hour just to get out the door (after she was dressed and ready herself that is).  Inviting people over was not a diplomatic relations of nap times.  If she works then coming home was the relaxing part of the day where she got to make a leisurely meal, watch some tv or read a book then head to bed as she wanted.  Now she's scrambling to get food made, eaten and a shower before trying to get some sleep. 

Don't get me wrong, parenting is very rewarding.  I would never trade my little girls smiles, laughs and "I love you" for anything.  But let's face it, it's also one of the hardest things you'll ever do.  Climbing Mt. Everest?  HAH!  While physically taxing I'd like to see some of those people do it while attempting to entertain a 3 month old for the entire day without losing some semblance of their sanity.  I will admit that I know some moms who never struggle with just what do they do with this squiggly person who hangs on their every action. 

What I'm pointing out is that it's very hard to do, no matter your situation.  Especially when all those well wishers have left.  All those people who brought you food for the first week or so, where have they gone?  How do you figure out what to do and how to do it?  The answer?  Friends!!  Maybe you're one of the lucky ones and have friends who are moms with kids close to your child's age.  Maybe you're living where you grew up and have a lot of people who are willing to come over and watch the baby for a little bit.  I know some moms who I think are fortunate enough to live with family that will do most of the cooking and cleaning (they beg to differ on the "fortunate" part some days).  But I also know many women who have gone from working full time to staying home and have no one to talk to.  Or moms who go back to work and all the other women they work with don't have kids yet so they don't really want to (or know how to) talk about baby related things.  It can be very isolating. 

 How do you gain those friendships?  Simple, join a mom's group.  And yes, this is shameless self-promotion but hey, I figure you're reading this so you already know about us.  Don't just follow a blog or check things on Facebook.  Those are worthwhile yes, but just how much are you interacting?  Do you really feel you can say "HELP!" or get to know people just by those two methods?  Do you really feel you can get good advice and empathy from Facebook people you may never have met?  Why not post an introduction?  Why not come to an event or ask someone with a child of similar age to meet you at a park/cafe/mall?  When we were in school it sometimes took an act of courage to ask that interesting kid to play with you or sit with you for lunch.  Go back to those days again and get the courage to ask someone over so you have someone to talk to.  It may take a bit to really feel like someone's a close friend.  But trust me, it's worth it.

The Mommies Network Supports A Mother’s Right To Choose How Best To Feed Their Child

Contact: Margie Gilbert, Promotions Director, TheMommiesNetwork.com
Email: Margie@themommiesnetwork.org
URL: http://www.themommiesnetwork.org and http://www.triadmommies.com

Greensboro, North Carolina – A mother is told not to openly breastfeed her child during a TriadMommies.com event.

On Monday, September 6, 2010, the mother of a three month old arrived at a Greensboro coffee shop for a TriadMommies.com event, only to be told by one of the owners that if she chose to breastfeed, she needed to be covered with a towel. The mother, who was not nursing at the time, discussed the situation with the owner, then left the shop voluntarily. This controversial conversation was reported locally by WGHP, and the story ran on national media outlets, including cnn.com, latimes.com and orlandosentinal.com. The owners of the coffee shop have since apologized for the incident.


The Mommies Network (TMN) fully supports a mother’s right to choose the best method for feeding her child, whether the mother chooses open or covered breastfeeding, bottle-feeding or a combination of methods. We are pleased to see that the coffee shop has implemented changes as a result of this situation to make their establishment a friendly place for breastfeeding mothers.

TMN is a 501c(3) non-profit organization founded in April 2005, and we have over 100 communities in 32 states and over 25,000 active members. Part of TMN’s mission is to help all moms find support and friendship in their local community. We welcome all mothers, regardless of their background, station in life, viewpoints or status. All mothers need local support, and TMN provides a way for mothers to connect for friendship, support and fun.

TriadMommies.com, one of over 100 communities owned and managed by The Mommies Network, is a free community for moms in Guilford and Forsyth Counties in North Carolina. If you have any questions, please visit http://www.themommiesnetwork.org, http://www.triadmommies.com or contact Margie Gilbert at Margie@themommiesnetwork.org

GET YOUR BID ON!!!! The Mommies Network is hosting an online/Ebay auction for 100s of great items! Some local, some online. Check it out at http://donations.ebay.com/charity/charity.jsp?NP_ID=36934