It Gets Better
6:31 PM | Posted by
Callie |
I think I told her to hang in there and to get out of the house if she could, but I wanted to say more. Like all mothers who have "made it through" those bleary eyed, emotional months, I have a good idea of what she's going through, and I remembered some of the things that I went through in my children's first year of life.
I remember once, when my oldest daughter was about 5 months old, my husband and I went out to brunch with friends in Baltimore. My daughter had been introduced to rice cereal recently, but I was still her main source of food back then. When she was born, Hadley was almost 10 pounds and I swear it was like the whole reason she decided to come out was to breastfeed. She would eat around the clock if I let her. So I was hungry. All the time. At brunch I ate what I believe was a stack of 6 or 7 pancakes, all the potatoes and bacon, plus the remaining food on my husband's plate. Then when we got home, I made myself a sandwich with potato chips and cookies on the side.
When my second daughter, Harper, was born that brought another set of challenges along with it as well. For me, there was a lot of guilt that I wasn't spending as much time with Hadley as I used to. We couldn't go to the places we used to go together as easily, or at all because of naptimes or whatever. Along with the guilt, the managing of two human beings was overwhelming at times, too. One afternoon, I had spent a ridiculous amount of time making myself a nice lunch. Just as I was finishing preparing it, Harper was ready for a nap. In the time it took me to change Harper and put her down for a nap, Hadley had taken my lunch off the kitchen counter, and devoured it. And to top it off, the last two pieces of bread were used to make that sandwich.
There were days (and there still are) that were filled with lots of tears. Someone told me once that entering motherhood is like visiting another country with a language you don't know how to speak and a time change that you can't quite get your body to adapt to. But everyone has their ways of figuring it out, and I know my friend is finding her way as she spends time with her daughter.
For me, it was finding some joy in a particularly stressful or tiring moment. This is not an easy skill for me to master, but every once in awhile I can do it.
I nursed Hadley until she was 11 months old. I'm not writing this to brag. I couldn't stand breastfeeding. It just wasn't for me. I didn't find it difficult, but it wasn't something that felt natural to me at all. Still, I decided I'd do it until she was 1 year old. However, by 10 months she began to lose interest and I primarily fed her in the morning when she woke up and again around 4 or 5 in the morning. Those break of dawn feedings were hard. You know it's too early to wake up, but by the time you've fed the baby and put her back to bed, you're wide awake.
The morning Hadley turned 11 months, she woke up around 4am crying. Like a robot, I went into her room, fed her, then put her back to bed. But for some reason she didn't want to go back to sleep. Too tired to have her "cry it out," and too weak to rock her to sleep, I brought her into bed with me. She fell right to sleep on top of me. I dozed on and off until about 7:30 when Hadley woke up.
Hadley was never a cuddler. She didn't like to be snuggled up with me or my husband. She was always too busy and interested in what was going on in the world. But this morning, as the sky went from black, to deep dark blue, to a white light, Hadley and I rested together. My hand on her little back, her legs draped on either side of my waist. One hand on my neck, and the other holding onto her pacifier. I didn't know it then, but it was the last time I would ever breastfeed Hadley. I look back on this moment as a little present for myself.
I'm not revealing anything new when I write that the reality of motherhood is that it's filled with unbelievable joy and unbelievable exhaustion. Every mother knows this, and my friend is finding this out as well. I supposed the "trick" is figuring out how to live with these two really strong tidal waves. Because hopefully, they'll be around for a long time.
NMDCM Needs Your Help
NorthMetroDCMommies’ mission is to provide a safe, secure, FREE place for mothers to find support and encouragement from other mothers and to empower them to be better women, parents and community leaders. Part of our philosophy: We believe that, working together, mothers can change the world - one family, one neighborhood, one community at a time. NorthMetroDCMommies is a connecting force, helping us each to make a difference in our own lives, in our families and in the places we call home.
As you already know, NMDCM and The Mommies Network, our parent organization, is run by mom volunteers. We are always looking for fellow moms to help make NMDCM a better community for all of those within our membership and local community. Only have 10 min. to help out, that’s ok! Pass our name a long to fellow moms, drop off flyers, host an event, volunteer at a charitable event, or even simply posting on the board is a big help.
For management, leadership or committee positions, please visit our help wanted forum.
May is for Mothers!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click here!
http://www.themommiesnetwork.org/may2010.shtml
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For celebrating the mother you are. For celebrating the mother you want to become. For celebrating the community of mothers who support you, encourage you, and help you be the best mother you can be.
This month for mothers is a time for us all to reflect on how this incredible journey began. Perhaps you were overjoyed by the prospect of motherhood and all that it entails. Perhaps you were overwhelmed. Perhaps you realized that you needed a friend who would understand you and support you in this new journey. However your journey began, we all have one thing in common - we need community to be the best mom that we can be. We need friends who will listen and provide support. We need playdates to help our children grow and develop. And we need a way to assist our fellow mothers when they require support.
Community. Friendship. Support. Understanding.
It's what The Mommies Network is all about and we are dedicated to providing that to you for FREE and to bringing it to cities across the United States so that no mom ever has to feel alone on this crazy journey called motherhood, but we cannot do this without your support. During the month of May, we are asking that you celebrate the moms in your life and celebrate yourself by donating to the organization that provides you with the support that you need and the ability to provide that support to others too, so that we can all be our best.
Donate $5 and we'll send a virtual bouquet of daisies to any mom you choose to honor along with a notification that a donation was made in their honor - just be sure to give us her e-mail address!
Make a donation of $10 and we'll make it a virtual bouquet of mixed flowers.
Donate $20 or more and we'll send your honoree virtual roses.
And we'll provide you with a special avatar or signature graphic so that you can let others know that you care enough to support The Mommies Network.
Please, take this opportunity to celebrate your own motherhood in the month of May and make a donation to The Mommies Network so that we can continue to offer a source of support and community to the moms across our nation. Working together we can change the world - one family, one neighborhood, one community at a time.
Thank you,
The Mommies Network
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Click here!
http://www.themommiesnetwork.org/may2010.shtml
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Labels:
NMDCM 1st Annual Family Fun Sale
This event will include a community sale, family activities, vendors and showcase our sponsors who are dedicated to supporting our families and local commerce here in the North Metro DC area. In addition to the vendors, the Family Fun Sale will include a wonderful raffle and bake sale.
To participate in the Sale, please email Jessica at jessica@NorthMetroDCMommies.com for registration details. NMDCM will allow “Space Share,” if you would like to go in on a space with another vendor. You, as the vendor, must partner with another vendor on your own and you may split the cost of the space between you. Both vendors must submit an application with their portion of payment—we will not reserve the space until we have received both applications and payment from each party participating in the booth share. Please note that all applications are subject to review and acceptance in accordance with the mission of NMDCM as listed in the text above and all tables must be suitable for small eyes.
As this is also a fundraiser to support our site and charitable event for Cookies for Kid’s Cancer, we suggest each commercial vendor submit an item for the raffle, baked item or provide a family/children’s activity. This can include but is not limited to: Gift Certificates, Products you sell, etc. The only requirement we have is that it is “Family Friendly”, PG-13 and valued at $5 or greater.
All TMN member paid vendor booth applications postmarked before May 14th, will receive a $5 discount. The $5 TMN member discount will only apply per space, not per person. Spaces are limited and will be assigned in the order that applications are received and paid in full. All applications must be postmarked by May 22, 2010.
We hope you can join us for our 2010 Family Fun Sale. Your participation and support are greatly appreciated!
Spaces are 10x10 ft.
Commercial Business/Vendor- $30 (per space)
Non-member Vendor- $20 (per space)
TMN Membership Discount* - $15 (per space) (*application must be post marked on or before May 14, 2010, to receive this discount! If postmarked after May 14th, fee will be $20 per space.)
Vendors keep 100% of their profits.
Spring Social with Hannah House
We will provide beverages, light snacks, goodie bags for the women and a children's activity.
This event will be held on May 1 with a starting time around 2:30PM.
If you would like to help in anyway (goodie bag donations, volunteering at the event, providing snacks, etc.), please let us know.
Please email admin@northmetrodcmommies.com if you would like to arrange for us to pick-up donated items.
If you would like to make a monetary donation you may use PayPal
Thanks, everyone! This is going to be an awesome event and a great way to help out women and children in need.
Relearning the ABCs by Callie
Relearning the ABCs
My three year old daughter’s favorite song is “The ABCs.” The moment she wakes up, she is singing it. She sings it during breakfast, or on the way to the park. She sings it when she’s happy or sad. It’s as if the letters A-Z hold some secret to life, and saying them over and over will remind her of this secret.
One afternoon Hadley and I were playing with blocks when she said, “Mama? Can we talk?”
“Sure.” I said and gulped nervously. What in the world could we be embarking on?
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked.
“The ABCs.” Hadley stated matter-of-factly.
Hadley has taken it upon herself to teach this song to her sister, Harper. Harper is two years younger than Hadley, and doesn’t quite appreciate the importance of knowing these 26 lovely letters. This doesn’t stop Hadley. A song this important needs to be sung over and over again.
Once, when I was getting Harper ready for a nap, Hadley thought she’d help out by singing the ABCs. With the guitar her Uncle Geoff bought her for Christmas.
This was a particularly difficult morning. I hadn’t showered or had any coffee, my drug of choice. None of us had slept well the night before, and I was feeling desperate to get Harper down for a nap.
Just as I had swaddled Harper up and begun rocking her, I saw Hadley’s forehead and eyes peak out from behind the bedroom door.
“Harper’s almost asleep. ” I tried to say it as quietly as possible.
Except Hadley took this as her cue to come into the bedroom. Guitar in hand.
“Is Harper sleeping?” she asked well above a whisper.
“Not yet, but almost.” My whisper probably sounded more like a whimper.
Hadley proceeded to sit on the floor and place the guitar on her lap. “This will help Harper get to sleep.” She told me, pointing to the guitar.
What could I do to stop what I feared was going to be the world’s worst lullaby? If I raised my voice, I’d wake up Harper, and I might’ve hurt Hadley’s feelings. She was, after all, trying to help. All I could do was watch.
She lifts her hand in the air and lets it fall on the guitar, strumming one loud, long unmelodic chord. Harper’s eyes bolt open. I’m still swaying from side to side in a pathetic attempt to erase what is going on.
“A, B, C, D, E, F, G.” Hadley sang as she strummed the guitar, thus ending Harper’s two second nap.
For as tired as I get of “The ABCs,” I know there will be a day when I’ll be wishing Hadley still sang this song. So I enjoy it as much as I can – even when I’m unshowered and uncaffeinated and there are no naps in sight.
On a late afternoon in spring, Hadley, Harper, and I decide to go outside to blow bubbles.
“Can we put some clothes on you?” I ask Hadley, hoping she will agree to taking off the pajamas she’s had on all day.
“No. I want to keep my Elmo pajammies on.”
“Fine, but we need to put shoes on.”
“Can I wear my tap dancing shoes please, Mama?”
“Sure.” I say.
Outside, I have Harper in the bjorn, who’s kicking away watching Hadley jump after the bubbles I’m blowing. Hadley stops suddenly when she sees a squirrel run past on a branch in a nearby tree.
“Hi squirrel!” she yells. The squirrel stops for a second, then darts away.
“Squirrel! Come back! I want to say hello to you!” Hadley explains.
Hadley’s back is to me. She has her hands on her hips as she watches the squirrel go away. About 30 smiling Elmos’ cover her back and legs. She shifts her weight from one black “tap dance” shoe to the next. She is a sight.
“A, B, C, D, E, F, G.” she begins.
I open my mouth to sing along but someone beats me to it.
“H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P.” my husband walks up the sidewalk, home from work.
“Daddy!” Hadley exclaims. He picks her up but keeps singing.
“Q, R, S.” he begins.
“T, U, V.” Hadley is jubilant. And then the three of us bring it home:
“W, X, Y, and Z.” Hadley’s bopping up and down on my husband’s hip, her arms moving in the air as if she’s directing. Harper squeals in delight and I give her legs a little squeeze.
“Now I know my ABCs! Next time won’t you sing with me?”
Next time, and always.
Callie is a freelance writer and mommy to Hadley (3) and Harper (1). She has been published in Christian Teacher, Christian Home and School, and the online magazine The Mommy Times. You can read more about Hadley and Harper here: http://notesfromnaptime.blogspot.com, or read about the books the girls are reading here: http://sit-a-while.blogspot.com.
Posts
